Tuesday, January 17 @ 4:14
Okay, let me preface by saying I reaally like this question (can you call it a question if it doesn’t end with a question?) I also think I’m one of the better people to ask this question because I land somewhere between the Audrey/Marilyn spectrum, I’m curvy and petite, and my attractiveness is somewhere between sweet and vampy.  All that being said, I had to think really hard about this one because while I am fat positive AND sex positive, I understand the desire for purity (although I don’t really like that word in this context because it makes it sound as if liking sex is impure). I think it begins with the fact that clothes look different on different bodies.  When a woman puts a dress on, her body is going to heavily influence how that dress is going to be received. A curvy woman can put on the same dress as a thinner woman, but her representation of the dress could be received as more sexualized. I tried to choose examples where the two women are styled similarly, and interpreted differently. I feel like someone could look at that photo of Christina Hendricks and their immediate reaction would be to think that she’s showing too much cleavage, but she’s showing just as much skin as the runway model wearing the same dress, she’s just a curvier woman.  I agree that often curvy women think they have to be sexy to be owning it, but isn’t that a common thing just all around? I know just as many thin women who feel like they have to appear sexy to feel sexy, as I do curvy women. Granted, this concept SUCKS. It only supports the idea “If he doesn’t like you, you shouldn’t like you”. It is kind of a generalization to say that only curvy women have this mindset though—as unfortunate as it is, women of all shapes, sizes, and ages have thought that other people finding you sexy equals you being attractive.  Okay, to tackle the biggest part of this question, which is “Shouldn’t everyone want to be pure?” I have a lot of issues with this question. I understand it’s root, and I’m trying so hard not to offend you—but I feel like this question is slut shaming. Slut shaming sends the message that sex is bad, and that other women’s sex life is something that affects everyone else. Honestly, I feel like if a woman wants to sleep around, or watch porn, or put all their treasures on display—that’s their business. Really the only people it affects is themselves and their partners. I understand not wanting to promote the idea of promiscuity (especially to minors) but I feel like that shouldn’t be what we should be focusing on. I feel like our message to girls should be that sex is okay, and liking sex is okay, and liking yourself is okay, BUT be sexy for yourself and not because someone wants you to be (and of course be safe if you’re going to be sexual).  And then a lot of me wants to take all of this back, and just say does it matter? Do women really need to dress a certain way, or act a certain way because someone else thinks they should? I think when it really comes down to it, you and I disagree on this, and that’s okay. I’m really sorry if I disappointed you, or didn’t answer your question. Just let me know if you have any more questions. 

Okay, let me preface by saying I reaally like this question (can you call it a question if it doesn’t end with a question?) I also think I’m one of the better people to ask this question because I land somewhere between the Audrey/Marilyn spectrum, I’m curvy and petite, and my attractiveness is somewhere between sweet and vampy.  All that being said, I had to think really hard about this one because while I am fat positive AND sex positive, I understand the desire for purity (although I don’t really like that word in this context because it makes it sound as if liking sex is impure).

I think it begins with the fact that clothes look different on different bodies. 

When a woman puts a dress on, her body is going to heavily influence how that dress is going to be received. A curvy woman can put on the same dress as a thinner woman, but her representation of the dress could be received as more sexualized. I tried to choose examples where the two women are styled similarly, and interpreted differently. I feel like someone could look at that photo of Christina Hendricks and their immediate reaction would be to think that she’s showing too much cleavage, but she’s showing just as much skin as the runway model wearing the same dress, she’s just a curvier woman. 

I agree that often curvy women think they have to be sexy to be owning it, but isn’t that a common thing just all around? I know just as many thin women who feel like they have to appear sexy to feel sexy, as I do curvy women. Granted, this concept SUCKS. It only supports the idea “If he doesn’t like you, you shouldn’t like you”. It is kind of a generalization to say that only curvy women have this mindset though—as unfortunate as it is, women of all shapes, sizes, and ages have thought that other people finding you sexy equals you being attractive. 

Okay, to tackle the biggest part of this question, which is “Shouldn’t everyone want to be pure?” I have a lot of issues with this question. I understand it’s root, and I’m trying so hard not to offend you—but I feel like this question is slut shaming. Slut shaming sends the message that sex is bad, and that other women’s sex life is something that affects everyone else. Honestly, I feel like if a woman wants to sleep around, or watch porn, or put all their treasures on display—that’s their business. Really the only people it affects is themselves and their partners. I understand not wanting to promote the idea of promiscuity (especially to minors) but I feel like that shouldn’t be what we should be focusing on. I feel like our message to girls should be that sex is okay, and liking sex is okay, and liking yourself is okay, BUT be sexy for yourself and not because someone wants you to be (and of course be safe if you’re going to be sexual). 

And then a lot of me wants to take all of this back, and just say does it matter? Do women really need to dress a certain way, or act a certain way because someone else thinks they should? I think when it really comes down to it, you and I disagree on this, and that’s okay. I’m really sorry if I disappointed you, or didn’t answer your question. Just let me know if you have any more questions. 

 babes with the power